Monday, September 14, 2009

40 days

Yes, that's right The Wedding is only 40 days away. It's hard to believe that in 40 days I will be getting married! So many emotions are going through me right now... I'm nervous, excited, joyful, hopeful, sad and happy and so many other feelings are coursing through me that I can't name them all.
Last night the overwhelming feel was sadness...I'm going to sound like a little girl here but I miss my mom! I never envisioned getting married without her. I really miss her quiet wisdom and leadership. I miss being able to call her up when I'm tied up in knots and having her quiet voice calm me down and tell me it will all work out. And then there are the showers that are being thrown in my honor and she won't be by my side. I miss her so very much right now... dear friends are volunteering to step in and be my substitute mom.. one even offered to loan me her mom (thanks Meagan :)) and as much as I appreciate these offers and the love in which they are offered I wish for something that will not be... I know she is looking down and watching over me.. and I know she'll be at the wedding.. but I wish for one more chance to hear her voice, just one more I love you, or even a "get it together Kathy!
Weddings are such strange creatures and stir up a lot of emotions and memories that have been dragged out in a while. I look forward with eager anticipation to being wed to the wonderful man God has place in my life and at the same time am nervous about how the blending of our lives together will work out.
Please keep James and I in your prayers as we walk this journey together.

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