Monday, December 29, 2008

Give Me Your Eyes

A month or so ago I was driving down the road listening to the radio... not an unusual pasttime for me and this song came on the radio... And it spoke to me... It has become one of my favorite songs. It is by Brandon Heath and the name of the song is "Give Me Your Eyes". It expresses the thoughts that have been going through my head so eloquently.






"Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
yeah yeah yeah yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus
Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
yeah yeah yeah yeah

I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes just move and pass me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone

Chorus
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
yeah yeah yeah yeah


The words of this song speak to me... urging me to open up my eyes and really look at those around me... not through them or over them... but to really look at them and to see them as God sees them... with love and mercy... how He sees me...Please Lord, help me to see everyone with Your eyes and to love them the way you love me"

Monday, December 1, 2008

Give Thanks to the Lord

Give thanks to the Lord, His love endures forever.....

This song has been running through my head all day. As I lay quietly in my bed tonight I began to really think about the words to this song. Music has always been a way for me to express my emotions, which is rather strange since I am not at all musically inclined. I play no musical instrument(other than the radio or cd player) and though I try my best to sing on key more often than not I'm just a fraction or more off, but the words in different songs always speak to me. I am constantly in awe of people who write songs, people who can sing songs on key, and people who play musical instruments. Today the words to this song and hearing it sung so beautifully by human voices was so awe inspiring that it struck me harder than usual so that I really paid attention to the words as we lifted the song up to the Lord. It's not an unusual song for us to sing during a worship service or even a new song I've just learned, but for some reason the words struck a chord with me today. As I lay in bed a few minutes ago I began to think about how easy it is to accept giving thanks to the Lord, but how difficult it is to believe His love endures forever!

The dictionary defines the word forever as "for eternity; for always; endlessly, at all times; always" This is such a hard concept for my small brain to accept...eternity? I have a hard time with tomorrow... for always? really? even in my most difficult times? endlessly? I can't even imagine something with no end... at all times? even when I sin? even when I am not loving towards others? even when I'm at my worst? ALWAYS? I think the reason I have such a hard time with this concept is because I struggle with loving those in my life always. It is so hard as a human to understand that God loves me no matter what. Because I have a hard time continuing to love those in my life who are at times difficult. And since I know that the Lord knows I am difficult most of the time, it's hard for me to accept that He loves me always. It's an issue that I have struggled with for a long time. I think at times I even challenged God by behaving badly... tested Him you might say... to see if what He says is really true... Hey Lord watch this... can you love me after this? I seem to say...

Each day I struggle with accepting that He does love me, that He will love me and that He will always love me. And that all He asks in return is that I love Him, that I believe in Him and that I strive daily to do His will. That He loved me enough to send His only Son to die on a cross for me is so humbling and challenges me to love those in my life that I find it difficult to love or even be in the same room with. I pray that as I go through the days ahead of me that I will take each moment as it comes and for that moment I will attempt to love those whom God places in my path... I know it won't come easily but I pray that He will open my eyes to those around me that I might open my heart for a moment and love that person the way God loves me.. and even though I don't understand the concept of forever.. I can try to love that person in that moment the same way that God loves me eternally.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Thank You Lord

There's a song I love to sing called "Thank You Lord" and it starts like this...
"Thank you Lord for loving me and thank you Lord for blessing me, thank you Lord for making me whole and saving my soul." I love that song...The words of that song have always resonated with me.
I don't know why, but I awoke at 4:00 this morning with this song going through my head and as I do most times when something like this happens... I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep... well as you can see rolling over didn't work so well... so it's now 4:30 and here I sit... recline actually in my bed, typing on my laptop (Thank you Lord for sending people like Lara and Bruce into my life who besides fixing laptops do so much more to enrich my life.) Have you ever sat and wondered why this person or that person is in your life... well I'm a firm believer that the Lord sends people into our lives for a specific reason or season of our lives... some are just here briefly, but they touch our lives in such a way that we will never forget them and the impact they have on our lives goes with us throughout the rest of our lives. Others that He sends, stay with us longer, they walk with us daily, they are there through the joys and the sorrows, the laughter and the tears, the ups and downs on this roller coaster called life. A friend of mine recently lost her father and her brother in less that six months. I cannot even imagine how she and her family feel after losing 2 such vital members of their family.. but I know that the father and brother have made an impact on not only her life but on the lives of each person they met, no matter how briefly or how long they knew them. Kathryn's story is still being written and the events of the last 6 months happened for a reason. The impact of losing 2 loved ones in such a short amount of time will be with her for the rest of her life, but I know that God will use this tragedy to help her to minister to someone one day in such a way that the other persons life will be permanently changed. So Thank you Lord for making us whole and saving our souls. We may not always understand, but we stand, we wait and we trust in You always to lead us. We know that You carry us in Your hands and cover us with Your love, surrounding us daily with Your peace. Thank you Father!

P.S. now I'm going back to sleep.. if the Lord will let me :)

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Thankful - final installment

Today is Saturday and I've made it and accomplished my goal of listing 7 things each day that I am thankful for... here is today's list...

1. I am thankful for Kathryn Ponder and her courage to step out in faith to do what God wants her to do and for friendship which has richly blessed my life.

2. I am thankful for Lara Dodds, her exceptional singing voice which is truly a gift from God and for her friendship.

3. I am thankful for quiet Saturday mornings to spend time contemplating the wonders of God's creation.

4. I am thankful for all the ministers and elders at Highland Oaks who strive daily to do God's will.

5. I am thankful for the beauty of the human voice to lift praises up to God.

6. I am thankful for people who have the gift of cooking and for those that serve the food.

7. I am thankful for authors who with their gift of words can take us away for a little to places we may never see.

And there you have it the last 7 things on this list, but it is not totally complete because each day I find more "things" to be thankful for.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Friday's thankfuls

Ahhh Fridays... the end of most people's work week and the beginning of the much treasured weekends... Here is today's list of "things" I am thankful for...

1. Well for Fridays of course :)

2. But also for Mondays because they make us appreciate our weekends more.

3. For all of the animals, especially my cat Sierra.

4. For beautiful blue skies with puffy white clouds and dark stormy gray skies filled with the promise of rain.

5. The sweet sound of a bird song early in the morning.

6. Courteous drivers

7. Polite sales clerks.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

More Thanks

Here is today's list:

1. For the mute button on my remote control

2. My boyfriend, James

3. My soft bed and comfy blanket

4. Rainy days

5. Cool, autumn days

6. Soft, flannel pjs

7. My computer

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Thankful Day 4

Today I am thankful for the following "things"...

1. That I live in a country where I can worship God in my own way, without risk of persecution.

2. That I have food to eat daily when so many are starving.

3. That I work with children, they help me to see the world in new and different ways all the time.

4. That I have eyes to see God's wonderful creations and ears to hear the wonderful music of nature.

5. That I have moments of blessed silence, especially at the end of the day :0.

6. Chocolate

7. That I am able to own copies of God's words while so many don't have that privilege or are at risk of persecution for owning a copy. Thank you Lord for allowing me to be born in a country free of religious persecution and dear Lord please be with those that live in countries where people are not allowed to worship You freely. Watch over them Lord and please keep them safe and Lord please bring peace to them and let them one day live in a country where they can worship You without fear.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Thankful Part 3

Today I am thankful for....

1. Living in a country where I have the privilege to vote.

2. Being alive in this day and time.

3. My brother Billy, his wife, Ali and my niece, Bailey.

4. The friends God has placed in my life.

5. Having a rough over my head when so many don't.

6. Leaves that change color in the fall, causing me to be even more aware of God's wonderful creation.

7. My health.

Monday, November 3, 2008

I am Thankful part 2

Welcome to the second installment of my thankful list....

Today I am thankful for...

1. Parents who volunteer to go on field trips!

2. Beautiful sunny days :) Thank you God for sending such wonderful weather.

3. Brandi Bradford - who helps me make it through each day at work... and is such a great friend!

4. My job... which some days is a blessing and a curse :) but I wouldn't trade it for any other job.

5. My mom, who taught me how to be a lady (she really tried hard, it's not her fault I didn't make it all the way :)), how to dedicate myself to a job and to be loyal to my employer. She also taught me how to be a honest Christian woman and to stand up for what I believe in. I am so thankful that I had her here as long as God allowed her to be.

6. My dad, for always being there. Even when he's miles away! It doesn't matter how far away he is whenever "the car breaks down" or some other malady occurs I know Dad will always be there... he may not always be able to do anything but he's always there.

7. To God for placing me with 2 such wonderful people to help me grow into the person He wants me to be.

Well there you have it! I made it through day 2 :)
Check back tomorrow to see if I'll keep on track!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

I am Thankful for....

During this month of Thanksgiving the church I attend has challenged each of it's members over the course of the next week to each day write down 7 things they are thankful for. This sounded like a great blog opportunity so this blog is the first installment of my list. I hope that I am up to the task of doing this each day. I am a great starter... but don't always complete tasks like this in a timely manner, so I invite each of you to hold me accountable to keep up with this.

First on my list -
God's great mercy - I am thankful that He is merciful to forgive me of ALL my sins no matter how BIG or how small... even though I have done nothing to warrent His forgiveness!

Secondly -
I am thankful for God's love - that He loves me no matter what - He is always there to love me, even when I feel unlovable.

Thirdly -
I am thankful for the refuge He gives me when my life is in turmoil. He is my Rock and my Redeemer!

Fourthly -
I am thankful for the peace He gives me in times of trouble.

Fifthly -
I am thankful that He is the Creator of all things... and that He created me just the way I am for His purpose and His glory.

Sixthly -
I am thankful that His hand that is always outstretched to me, lifting me up when I fall, holding tight when I feel adrift in a sea of lonliness, carrying me in my darkest days. I am so glad I can feel His hand around me each and every day.

And for today's seventh item on my list I am thankful to God for sending His son to this earth to pay the price for my salvation. How awesome that God is so giving that He gave His son for me.

So there you have it... the first seven things I am thankful for... How about you? What are seven things you are thankful for?

Check back tomorrow to see what other 7 things I am thankful for.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The first week of school

Well the first week of school is just about behind me and it has been an exhausting one. This new school year brings with it a new set of challenges... and a chance to start over once again. I love being a teacher it's the one job I know of where you get the chance to start over and try new things or reexperience things that you have done before. It's never the same. When you have a classroom full of 4 1/2 to 5 year olds to work with life is never boring. This school year promises to be an interesting one and hopefully one where I will continue to grow as a teacher. I have 1 new and 1 partially new staff members under my direction this year. I love new teachers they have such enthuasiasm that I can't help but get reenergized just by being around them.

This past week I welcomed 14 new children into my classroom. Some were excited to be there, others were scared because they didn't quite know what to expect from this new teacher and the other kids in the classroom. I watched their faces as they came in. It is always interesting to see how they react to being in a new classroom. For many of them walking into my classroom was nothing new they've been doing it off and on for the past several years.... Two of my new students are siblings of children I have had in the past so I have literally watched them grow from being babies to toddlers and now they get to be just like their big brothers and sisters and get to not only come into Miss Teale's class but they get to stay! I love teaching in a small private school... while the pay isn't as good as what I would make at a public school the small feeling of community in the middle of the big city feeds my soul. I love the fact that I am able to build relationships with parents who are actively involved in their children's education. I love being a part of this time in the lives of the children placed in my care. They are so full of life and so wonderfully eager to learn. I hope they never lose that eagerness to learn something new! And I hope I never lose my appreciation for their love of life or forget the importance of the job I have been given to do.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

My Saturday

It has been a full day for me.. started out with a 2 mile walk with 2 of my favorite people. It was a glorious day in Texas.. the weather was relatively mild for an August day and by that I mean it was only in the 90's all day :) so I got the healthy stuff out of the way. What is it about walking with loved ones that helps to make the time go by faster? That 2 mile walk doesn't really feel like 2 miles when you are sharing in each others lives and keeping each other motivated! Then my silly boyfriend and I drove around for a while looking for a place to have "brunch" and ended up eating at a mexican food restaurant in Mesquite called Martinez. It was quite delicious. He actually had breakfast and since I'm not really into eggs I had a yummy chicken dish called Monterrey Chicken which is basically grilled chicken under melted cheese. Yummy! Then it was off to see the new batman movie "Dark Knight"! It was really good even though it was rather lengthy. After the movie he dropped me off at my place so he could go get some sleep before heading into work. :( Well since he was taking a nap I figured I'd do the same before heading to the hospital to visit a friend. zzzzzzzzz sleepy time! I love naps! After my nap I got up and headed to the hospital to visit my friend who is 7 months pregnant and on bedrest. She was having a rough time when I got there and God gave me the opportunity to sit with her and listen to her get some of her worries off her chest. We were able to pray together and then just spend some time hanging out. I firmly believe that the Lord places us where He needs us to be. For whatever reason I was put in this young woman's life I hope that I am doing the job He intended me to do.
I pray that my friend and the child she is caring continue to make progress and that the current health issues will be resolved. I pray that the child will be born healthy and whole and that my friend will learn to trust in God always but especially in the hours of her deepest need.
P.S. Now you know why my blog is called "Random Ramblings" :)

Monday, July 21, 2008

teenagers...well my teenager to be exact

Wow this weekend has definitely been a trying one... For those that don't know my situation... at the end of May (has it only been that long?) My sister M (who is 18) came to live with me(I'm um 30 something :))... now I've never had any children and really have had no real desire to have any children since I spend 8 hours a day with a group of 5 year olds. So I really have no child rearing experience...but the Lord in His infinite wisdom has sent M to live with me(in a one bedroom apartment, no less).. so I find myself thrown into the role of mother/sister and I'm really struggling with how to be both to the same person... This past weekend I found myself extremely upset with M... who basically sat around on Saturday playing on the computer while I emptied the dishwasher (which I had asked her to empty on Monday!), cleaned the kitchen and did the laundry.... fortunately my wonderful bf came and picked me up to go to the movies before I said something I know I probably would have regretted... (I'm not known for my diplomacy :o) anyways she left to go to a "party" on Saturday night @ 10 p.m. with the words "don't worry I'm not drinking and I'll be back in time for church services"... (how reassuring!) but at 3 a.m. ... yes I said 3:00 a.m.! I get a text saying that she is staying overnight at a friend's house...and then she doesn't make it to service and doesn't answer any of my texts and finally shows up at around 2 something Sunday afternoon...I didn't say anything just kept on folding the clothes (who knew one extra person could mean doing laundry every weekend instead of every other weekend!) and she was talking to me like she hadn't done anything wrong... she was babbling on (she is very good at babbling) about stuff she had done... no I'm sorry I didn't make it home when I said I would.. no apology for not responding to texts or anything... just acted like everything was ok... BUT she did start to fold the clothes with me and made some comment about helping me because she knew she'd upset me yesterday! LOL all I said was Yep... and just kept on folding clothes...and just kind of let it go...
So yep I have no idea what I'm doing... just taking it one day at a time... any advice on helping her learn to be responsible would be greatly appreciated.. anybody out there have any words of wisdom? Strategies you've tried that have worked?
Wow I just read back over what I wrote and I sound like Martha in the Mary and Martha story in the Bible!... ok this post has gone on for much longer than I thought it would... I would appreciate any help or constructive criticism you all can offer!
P.S. If any of you know me and M please don't say anything to her about this blog...this is my place to vent and to get things off my chest... if I want her to know about this blog I will let her know.. thanks :)

Monday, July 14, 2008

I've slipped

Ok... for those that don't know me and read this I'll give a little bit of background... up until January I had smoked a 1/2 to a pack of cigarettes a day. On January 13th I quit and up until last week I haven't had a single cigarette.. than came a really rough day and the desire for a cigarette was overwhelming... so I had one... and since then I have had one about every other night... and tonight I had 2... I feel so angry with myself and know that I have disappointed a lot of people who supported me during the process I went through to quit previously... so I am asking you all to pray for me and to help me to keep from smoking again full time.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Purpose - what on earth am i here for?

A person's purpose is something most people struggle with their entire lives. What am I here for? Is a question asked by many day in and day out. Many people put on a façade, a mask to hide their inner turmoil. They struggle daily with the one question no one can answer for them and one in which the answer changes daily, hourly and even by the minute. I think the answer to the question of one's purpose in life is a very simple one but one many of us have a hard time understanding or even admitting to… we are here in this time and in this place doing what we are doing for one reason and one reason only …. To give glory to God… if you had asked me about my purpose 10 years ago… 5 years ago… a year ago or even yesterday or tomorrow… maybe even in the next hour my response would be different but for now… in this moment … at this time from where I am sitting I know that my purpose is to live daily for God and to do my best daily to help those He has placed in my life. I know I don't always fulfill the purpose God has given me in that minute but I am always striving to do what He has called me to do.

Independence


Independence


Liberty and Freedom
Justice for All
Land that I love


Family and Friends
God and Country
Loyalty and Devotion


Happiness and Sorrow
Laughter and Tears
Free to Express


Free to live
The life that I chose
Blessed beyond measure


To live in the Land of the Free
Because of the Brave


I Support our Troops!

Monday, June 30, 2008

I am....

I am....

a child of God

an independent woman
a sister

a daughter of my earthly father

a friend

a lover of life and of love and of everything good in this world

a hand to those in need.....

one who worships the Lord

one who suffers for those in pain, who rejoices with those in times of truimphant

one who loves children and animals and will do all in her power to protect them

a teacher

a student

simple yet complex

happy and sad

loved and in love

confused and amazed each day by the awesome works of my Lord God Almighty.....

I am wonderfully and beautifully made... Psalms 139

Monday, June 23, 2008

Angels Watching Over Me

The father of one of my best friends passed away this past weekend. As I was following her and my other best friend to her house this song kept playing through my head. During the hours since I left her exhausted and asleep on her couch I have come to realize that this song really reflects my view of where our loved ones are and what they are doing. I know that her dad and my mom though they never met this side of heaven are up there watching over all of us. Rest in peace Aaron and Mom and all those who have gone ahead.


ANGELS WATCHING OVER ME
Traditional

All night, all day,
Angels watching over me, my Lord.
All night, all day,
Angels watching over me.
Sun is a-setting in the West;
Angels watching over me, my Lord.

Sleep my child, take your rest;
Angels watching over me.
All night, all day,
Angels watching over me, my Lord.
All night, all day,
Angels watching over me.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Psalm 23

Psalm 23
The Lord is my Shepherd = That's Relationship!

I shall not want = That's Supply!


He maketh me to lie down in green pastures = That's Rest!


He leadeth me beside the still waters = That's Refreshment!


He restoreth my soul = That's Healing!

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness = That's Guidance!

For His name sake = That's Purpose!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death = That's Testing!

I will fear no evil = That's Protection!

For Thou art with me = That's Faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me = That's Discipline!


Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies = That's Hope!


Thou annointest my head with oil = That's Consecration!



My cup runneth over = That's Abundance!



Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life = That's Blessing !

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord = That's Security!

Forever = That's Eternity!

Compilation unknown

Scattered

There are a lot of things going on in my life right now and I'm feeling scattered. For someone who values her quiet time and protects it, I haven't had much of it lately. Back over the Memorial Day weekend my 18 year old sister came to live with me. It is very interesting living with her especially in a one bedroom apartment. This is the first time we have lived with each other. With a 20 year age difference I had moved out before she moved in with my parents, so other than the occasional Christmas and spring breaks we haven't really spent a lot of time together. She has been drifting in and out of my apartment since January and has finally decided to stick or at least so it seems. And while I want to do whatever I can to help her it has been and continues to be a challenge living with someone so young, who has a different outlook on life. She is all about having the social stuff and while I enjoy hanging out with my friends I've gone through my "wild" days of drinking, partying and staying out all night. My wild nights now a days include playing cards and board games with my friends or dinner and a movie with my boyfriend and home in bed by midnight at the latest. I love my sister and I want to do what's best but sometimes I feel so inept in guiding her, in helping her to grow as a person... I feel like the role of parent has been thrust upon me... I never desired to be a parent and find myself ill equipped to handle this role the Lord has given me. I pray that the Lord will give me the strength to guide this young soul, the patience to handle whatever challenges come and the words to speak when needed.
When I sat down to write this, this is not what I had in mind to write about... but these are the words that came out... Only time will tell...Only time will tell what will come and years from now when I look back on this time I hope and pray that I have done my job well.

Wishes made....



Wishes made....

By blowing petals off a flower,
By blowing out all the candles,
Or perhaps a wish upon a falling star.
Wishes made in the bright spring light,
or in the lingering darkness of the night.

Wishes made in childhood.
Wishes made with love so bright.
Wishes made with hearts so frail.
Fade as I grow,
Into adulthood so fair.
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Have this wish I wish tonight...
Wishes made....
Wither and die,
consumed this day,
as I begin to see.
Hopes and dreams once so bright,
hidden now,
behind....
stacks of bills and,
unkind words.
Until I no longer wish,
to hope or dream,
but shuffle daily through,
With eyes downcast,
And shoulders bent,
With a sigh I linger on.

One day,
I see,
The smile upon another's face,
A small child blows upon the petals of a flower,
Makes a wish,
And reminds me of a time,
When I did the same,
Lights a fire within,
To hope,
To dream,
To wish,
Once again.

K. Teale 6/10/2008