Sunday, June 15, 2008

Scattered

There are a lot of things going on in my life right now and I'm feeling scattered. For someone who values her quiet time and protects it, I haven't had much of it lately. Back over the Memorial Day weekend my 18 year old sister came to live with me. It is very interesting living with her especially in a one bedroom apartment. This is the first time we have lived with each other. With a 20 year age difference I had moved out before she moved in with my parents, so other than the occasional Christmas and spring breaks we haven't really spent a lot of time together. She has been drifting in and out of my apartment since January and has finally decided to stick or at least so it seems. And while I want to do whatever I can to help her it has been and continues to be a challenge living with someone so young, who has a different outlook on life. She is all about having the social stuff and while I enjoy hanging out with my friends I've gone through my "wild" days of drinking, partying and staying out all night. My wild nights now a days include playing cards and board games with my friends or dinner and a movie with my boyfriend and home in bed by midnight at the latest. I love my sister and I want to do what's best but sometimes I feel so inept in guiding her, in helping her to grow as a person... I feel like the role of parent has been thrust upon me... I never desired to be a parent and find myself ill equipped to handle this role the Lord has given me. I pray that the Lord will give me the strength to guide this young soul, the patience to handle whatever challenges come and the words to speak when needed.
When I sat down to write this, this is not what I had in mind to write about... but these are the words that came out... Only time will tell...Only time will tell what will come and years from now when I look back on this time I hope and pray that I have done my job well.

2 comments:

accountable7 said...

Kathryn,

Blessings for the opportunity of a lifetime to get to know your sister. I pray God will bless your time together.


Patricia

Lara said...

I know that you are a good example for your sister and that it will be a blessing that she has lived with you for a time.